Paternal Great-Grandfather: Solly

Hello Again Everyone! 

Today I've opted to talk about my Granpa Solly... or as the family called him, "Solly" (short for Solomon). Talking about Solly is difficult because I never got to know him (or got to know much about him) while growing up (which if I'm being completely honest - may not be all that unusual when discussing great-grandparents). 

Now, on to the interesting things about the man. Interesting things like, his death is the big family mystery. No one quite knows what happened to him - and those that think they know, ain't telling. 

You see, Solly died young... very young. He was found dead of a gunshot wound to the head. Now, Solly had no known history (that I'm aware of) with depression, or rage, or anything else that might suggest that he was the sort of fellow who would off himself... only that is exactly what appears to have happened. 

First of all - the facts: 

○ Solly was born and raised in - if I am recalling correctly - Arkansas.
○ Solly was a military man who knew well how to clean a gun and use one... from horseback... and may have been in some branch of reserves at the time of his passing
○ To my knowledge he lived during the Great Depression (my grandfather was born in November of 1932, and found Grandpa Solly's body at about the age of twelve - so, he passed around 1944), but I've always heard that Solly kept a roof over his family's heads and food enough for them all to eat... so he was apparently a decent enough provider during that difficult time. (This type of provision was apparently not available with Granny's second husband - as many of the children went to an orphanage.)
○ Solly was married (to Mary Lou) with five known children. (Ivy, Truman, William, Leonard, and Lela) (I say "known" because that may come up later.)
○ Solly was found by my Pep-paw Truman (his oldest son) with a gunshot wound to the head when Pep-paw was about 12. I do not know which part of the head - could've been his forehead, side of his head, up through his mouth, back of his head to the front. I don't know. That was one thing Pep-paw never ever talked about - and you didn't dare ask him about it either.
○ In one hand Solly was clutching a photograph of his wife holding his youngest child (my Great Aunt Lela) as an infant, and some sort of note. I don't recall which hand they say he held them in, but I have seen the photo and note and both have a deep creases in them. Aunt Lela says that is because of the way he was said to be clutching them both in rigor mortis. (What is strange to me is that I've seen both the note and the photo and I don't recall seeing any blood on either one.)
○ I do not recall the details surrounding the gun post mortem. In the family it is just assumed that he was holding it. Though, as some tell it, he wasn't. (Which kind of matters when you are considering a suicide.)
○ The note reads like a sad letter, mostly revealing his emotional state. There is not much in the way of willing his earthly possessions to his wife and children, his siblings, his parents etc. or of his saying "farewell to the cruelties of life", "I can't go on"... that sort of thing. To be honest, the note is on paper that is about the size of a dinner napkin and he had a middle-sized scrawl that only covered about three-quarters of the page (if my memory serves me correctly). 
○ I believe he was found dead in his home. I'm uncertain of location inside the home or the time of day... though, I suspect it was in the afternoon simply because of the culture in the south at the time. [It was common to send the kids out (to work/do chores/study at school) in the morning, then everyone ate at lunchtime, then the kids returned to study/do chores/or play outside in the afternoon until the evening meal.] Free time for my Pep-paw to find Solly just seems to have been more likely during the afternoon.  Even so, my guestimate may not accurately reflect what time of day he died, even if I am close to the time of day that he was found dead. I do not recall where Granny Mary Lou was said to be at the time... if she was even home or not. (Which is odd - because I don't think she ever knew how to drive and likely would've been at home!)
○ As mentioned earlier, my grandfather and all of his younger siblings were sent to an orphanage afterward because Granny Lou wasn't able to afford to feed all of them. (Ivy was the only one who didn't go and that was because she was old enough to marry and be out of the house by that time.) 

Now for the mystery: 

○ In the first scenario, I'll share the family's "official" telling of what happened. One day, Solly was sitting at home, cleaning his gun, when it went off in his hands and killed him. Period. He didn't commit suicide. No mention was ever made of his note or the photo of Granny Mary Lou holding Aunt Lela (that I know exists... because I've seen it with my own two eyes). It was just an unfortunate accident, because there was no way he was going to leave behind a wife and five children who were depending on him without any kind of support... paternally or financially. He was too good a man for that. I have no idea where this version of the mystery originates, but I feel like it may have been my great-grandmother, who struggled a lot in the aftermath of it. I wish I knew, definitively, where this account originated - because that might explain more than the account itself. I don't believe Granny wanted Solly to be remembered poorly, or perhaps it was a coping mechanism for her afterward. Pretty cut and dry account though. It was just an accident, that was all it was. Nothing strange was going on. Everything was otherwise fine. 

○ In the second scenario, Solly was accused of being a bit (how to say this with some delicacy) cavalier? It was thought that, while married, he had become intimately involved with another woman and had gotten her in a family way. In this story, the other woman's brother sought out Solly publicly for some type of redress of grievances, insisting that Solly take responsibility. When Solly didn't (either because he was innocent of the charges or because he didn't want his rendevouz going public and effecting his home and family) this same brother promised some type of vengeance. Apparently, some small amount of time passed and everyone forgot all about it until the day Solly was found dead. Some insist that the brother wrote the note (or forced Solly to write it at gunpoint) then made Solly hold it and look at the photo of Granny and Lela while he shot him, point blank, in the head. Again, I still have no idea what happened to the gun. It could've belonged to the brother or to Solly. The brother could've planted it in Solly's hand. The brother could've taken it with him, which would be odd if he were staging a suicide.
As an addendum, there may be some truth to this scenario - as the "good-bye" letter and the baby photo with creases do actually exist, and Aunt Lela does have them. Though I do not know how much truth there is for this retelling of events in particular. In recent years, there have been some relations who have attended family reunions that we never knew about before because they were adopted from an orphanage before they aged out. They are all lovely, marvellous, wonderful people - and I'm glad they exist in the world - but it does throw a bit of shade on the whole situation. If there were more than five children between Solly and Mary Lou - surely we'd remember them - especially if they were twins! But, no mention was made of any of them at all for decades, until they showed up at the family reunion in these last few years... with eerily similar family histories until their adoptions. They don't all go by the same family names - but they've all done DNA testing and for the most part have matched some of us extremely closely. 

○ On to the third scenario! In this scenario, it was not Solly who was being cavalier, but Mary Lou. If this story is true, Solly committed suicide after discovering his wife's indiscretions. Some say she broke his heart so deeply that he just gave up.
This scenario also accounts for the letter, photo, and additional relations at the recent family reunions, as well as acting as an alibi for Mary Lou if she happened to be away from the house when Solly shot himself. But, it does (unfortunately) throw some pretty considerable shade in Granny's direction.

○ In this, the fourth scenario, we've got a touch of the second and third scenarios together. In this one, it was again Mary Lou who is being cavalier, but she had a jealous lover who wanted her to leave her husband and family. She wouldn't do it. So, her lover killed her husband, in much the same way that the brother of Solly's lover killed him in the second scenario, and making it appear to be a suicide. 
This scenario might account for the letter and photo, as well as accounting for the additional relations at the family reunions. It also potentially acts as an alibi for Mary Lou not being home when it happened, and may explain why she was so quick to put my Pep-paw and all his younger siblings in the orphanage so soon after Solly passed. Finally, it accounts for the fact that she re-married so soon after Solly's death. (Again, sorry for the shade Granny... I could be 100% wrong about this one.)

○ I've left room for a fifth and final scenario here because it is entirely possible that one is needed to account for the truth. Since this event of Solly's death is so shrouded in mystery, it is entirely possible that one of these scenarios is the truth, or that some heretofore unconsidered combination of events led up to his demise. It is just as possible that both Mary Lou and Solly were both being cavalier and both the brother and the lover were acting as allies in Solly's murder so one could avenge a sister and the other could obtain a lover. Given that Solly's death is still a mystery to this day- every possibility is feasible. 

Just some additional fun facts about my great-grandfather Solly, that are not related to the mystery surrounding the end of his life. 
We have a couple of photographs of Solly and his eyes were blue (if not gray), as were my grandfather's, as are my father's. I genetically inherited Solly's nose shape. The whole middle of his face is extremely similar to mine. (I actually favored him so much that my dad's mother, Granny Marie, made specific reference to how similar our noses looked when I was born!) 
Solly was also said to come from a very large family of mostly brothers. We took a vacation so my parents could meet one of his nieces, Della, in Arkansas about 20 years ago. She told us all sorts of stories about what growing up with Solly was like. Apparently, he was a very beloved uncle who liked to laugh and enjoyed time with his family. 

It seems a shame his life ended the way it did, and that his own son (my grandpa) had to find him. But, in a way that ensures his being remembered by the family... because nobody knows what actually happened to him... and those that do think they know, ain't tellin' nobody. 

I hope you enjoyed this installment of family history! 
All my best and and very happy Thanksgiving to you all! 

~K

Paternal Great-Grandmother: Granny Thomas

Hey Everybody!

One of my favorite people to hear my relatives reminisce about is one of my paternal great-grandmothers, Granny Thomas. To my knowledge she was a truly remarkable person. 

To begin, she was born the same year the Titanic sank... 1912.. which means that she was about seven-years-old during the women's sufferage movement in the United States, and born into a family full of sisters to boot! In spite of being one daughter of many, Granny Thomas was apparently a bit of a stand-out. She had abilities that are seemingly unheard of these days. 

For example, she could usually tell with great accuracy, without any prior medical knowledge, what gender of child that first-time mothers would give birth to. When my aunt was pregnant with her first child (my cousin, Brandy), Granny Thomas accurately predicted that Brandy would be a girl. And when my mother was pregnant with me, Granny Thomas told her that she couldn't determine if I'd be a boy or a girl because I wasn't her first pregnancy. (Mom and Dad had two miscarriages before I came along. I'm not sure if they told her that beforehand. I don't believe they did.) 

She was also what many people call a "water witch". She could walk around a property and tell you exactly where you could successfully dig a well and about how deep you needed to dig before you hit water.

She was one of the most energetic people I've ever known. When everyone around was winding down, she'd still be revving up. Granny Thomas could drive a car well into her 90s, and frequently did so, for hundreds of miles across state lines. She also loved to fish and had two jon boats of her very own, both of which ended up with my dad. 

Fun little story - Granny Thomas phoned dad up one day and told him she wanted him to hook up her boat to his truck and take her out on the water. So, being a devoted grandson, he did. He even thought to grab some fishing poles and bait because he knew about her proclivity for fishing. When they got close, she started telling dad where she wanted him to launch the boat, and when they were both on the water she told him which direction she wanted him to go. Dad said he paddled around in the water for hours, not fishing, just boating. When he got her where she wanted to be, she asked him to stop, and they both waited... she waited for something she never explained... and Dad waited for her instructions. After a short time of just floating around, Granny Thomas turned to Dad and told him she was ready to go back to the truck. So, they went back to the truck and he drove her home. Neither one of them pulled out a single fishing pole during that whole trip. Dad thought it was curious, but he never questioned it. I think, to Dad, Granny Thomas was a bit magical. To this day he speaks of her with awe in his voice and says things like, "Granny Thomas knew things." He never is able to specify what the things she knew were though, and I feel I might have missed out on asking her about moments like that, even though she was with us until I was in my mid to late 20s. 

And Dad isn't the only one who gets a little pensive when the subject of Granny Thomas comes up. Many of my aunts get that way as well, as does my Mom. They all have that same awe in their voices when they discuss her as he does. She was marvellous to have amazed her grandchildren so many times over! To me, she was just Granny Thomas. She was a woman of medium height, wiry and strong, but playful, with the straightest posture, the whitest hair, and the bluest eyes in the world. I rarely to never saw her in eyeglasses. Never saw her use a cane. I don't recall if she ever had hearing aids, but she was as spry as they come. She'd drive all the way down from Kansas to make her rounds and visit all of us. I remember her coming over to the house in her short-sleeved, polyester pantsuit and having a glass of sweet tea under the carport with us. I don't recall her ever saying much, but I do remember her smiling... a lot. She had a terrific smile. Her eyes twinkled when she smiled. 

I feel as though I'm making her sound very secretive, but I do not think she was. She'd have told us candidly what she knew about any subject provided we asked about it... the trouble was, we never asked! (At least I know that I hardly ever did.) Either because we all just let it slip our minds while we were basking in her presence, or because we never knew what we needed to ask because we didn't know what it was that we didn't know... so we couldn't ask about it... if that makes sense. 

There is one memory that I know proof of exists somewhere. That memory is the time Granny Thomas lent (my late grandpa, her son-in-law) Papaw Truman money. I do not know how much money was lent to him, or when it was lent, and I do not recall the purpose for it needing to be lent. But, I do know, that it was Granny Thomas - not Papaw Thomas - that lent it. I know this because Papaw Truman took the time to write her a letter of thanks when he managed to pay her back in full. That letter in his penmanship stands as evidence of this memory, but if you were to ask me who currently has ownership of that letter, I couldn't tell you. I do believe Granny Thomas carried it around in her pocketbook for a time though. 

I wish more stories of Granny were coming to mind - but that is all I'm recalling for now - that, and I'm in serious need of a shower. So, until I post again... be thinkin' of ya! 

~K

Mission

The purpose of this blog is to share what stories I know about my family with present and future relatives... and as a memory aide for myself.

It is my fond hope that these recollections are fun to read and have the ability to bring our lost family members back to life in a way that is thought-provoking, entertaining, and touching. 

I would love if it anyone reading these recollections remembers them also... even if they remember them differently. I'd love to see comments that add to or correct what memories I have. 

I don't know if I'll be adding photographs to these posts - though I do agree that it could be a fun addition at some future time. At this point, the focus will be on the recollections and making them as enjoyable as I can through written word alone.

What this blog is NOT for: 

Airing my family's dirty laundry

To my way of thinking, "airing dirty laundry" typically comes from a place of ill-intent and betrayal, and I do not wish anyone in my family to be hurt, embarrassed, or come to any kind of harm or trouble because of anything I choose to write here. This is simply intended to be a centralized place for my familial recollections. 

As such, and in an effort to keep the above from happening, I will likely exert more of my focus in relating the histories of those family members that have already passed away. In all likelihood there is a very high possibility that there will be mention of some of the living relations here - but only as they relate to myself and to the subject of the post they are mentioned in.  

In addition to this, I'll be using the names that (according to relatives) I know they were called by my family. It is entirely possible that their friends and other members of their community may have known them by different names or titles. I will also add in the title line of each post whether this relative was / is a paternal relative or a maternal relative... as they relate to myself and my own parents... just for some additional context. 

Now, without further ado... 

welcome to my very own... 

Genealogical Chronicles! 

~K